My family started in Naples, Italy. My great grandparents had 7 children. 5 daughters survived…Caroline, Theresa, Joan, Mary and Fanny. All my Aunts cared for and loved me. The one who comes to mind most often was my Aunt Theresa. This is why…
Remember the Aunt that took care of you? For me, it was mostly Aunt Theresa. First, let me give credit and thanks right here and now to Aunt Karen(Caroline). She cared for me a lot too. Aunt Theresa is the 2nd oldest, but took the responsibility for the family. My grandmother, Fanny, was the youngest of 5. Aunt Theresa will tell you and told me…she loves all her nieces and nephews the same. She was the female head of the family. She helped her sisters and helped raise her nieces and nephews. I lived with her during college at Rutgers. My life is richer because of Aunt Theresa. I think of Aunt Theresa like Jimmy Stewart in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I realize my life would have been harder without Aunt Theresa. She was a tuff person with a heart of gold if you got in. We have/had a mutual respect for each other. She knows I am tuff too, but we know, love, and respect each other.
Well, as I said in the about me page, I took care of Aunt Theresa for 2 years. She now has dementia. She knows I am me mostly. One time which was hard , but a gift, Aunt Theresa said…Kim is my daughter. She said it to me, and I’m Kim. She didn’t know I was Kim. She thought I was her other niece, Joni. Nowadays, Aunt Theresa goes in and out. She is wonderful and lucid one moment and I’m Joni the next.
Aunt Theresa is a perfect example of how others think of what used to be…They think of how she used to be. I do not care what she used to be. I care about what she is now in her life. She is happy in the nursing home and treated well. She is in South Amboy, NJ. She lived 90+ years of her life in South Amboy and knows it and loves it. Her friends are there. She has deep memories there.
Now, the power of attorney thing. Aunt Theresa was in the hospital recently. The male nurse said to me 3X..so you do not want revive her. Each time I said yes I do. He kept thinking no. Finally I said, you seem to want to end her life, is that true? He said no, I’m sorry. I said, please realize I love my Aunt very much. She is happy with her life currently. It is not the life I would choose, but it’s her life and I’m not going to take it from her. He did not ask me anymore.
My point is you are you, for better or worse. So what? Other will remember your glory days. Others will want you to do what they want you to do. You only have one you. You are you, now. Guard it carefully or you will loose it. Aunt Theresa would say the same…she has deep love and a heart of gold, still. It amazes me how open minded she is for a 95 year old. Think of the generation. She was born in 1914. I love you Aunt Theresa. Thank you.